the subjunctive straw

OK...normally I struggle with posting a blog once a week so I don't know what to say about all these blogposts lately! Bear with me...

This morning in my portuguese class I, quite literally, had a breakdown. Call it a culmination of MANY, MANY things all piled up together! I'm one of those (I LIKE TO THINK) tough girls that doesn't cry very often. I pride myself in being the strong one that always has the "spiritual" answers for those that are freaking out. I hate letting people see my "cry face" which involves red hives breaking out all over. Seriously, I look like a baboon when I cry! The problem with this idea is that after being bottled up, frustrations can explode and flow out in the most inopportune times.

Like today in the third and final class of my day. I knew it was coming before the class started. (the class only consisted of Me, Mike & poor poor Simone but still.) I walked outside for a minute and put my face towards the sun hoping it would "ABSORB" what was about to come pouring out but unfortunately at the first attempt to speak in class, I began heaving. I haven't cried like that in forever and unfortunately our teacher, Simone had to endure this embarrassing moment with me. She was great but I'm sure it's quite odd when all of a sudden a student covers their face and they began sobbing and shaking. Bless her heart!

So many things have been being bottled up lately. Not sure if it was something specific or the combination of everything. I thought I was doing great with all the madness but apparently with the kids going through their homesickness, trying to speak in a foreign language ALL the time, my family back home having some REALLY unfair heartbreaks that I can't do ANYTHING about AND not getting enough sleep lately due to the annoying and EVIL mosquitoes, I was at my breaking point. Who knew trying to decide which tense to use with subjunctive verbs could be the straw that broke the camel's back!

I'm better now and about to sit down to some more portuguese homework but MAN...today was CRAPPY! I'm working on getting out of this funk and find it ironic that this day followed yesterday with Matheus but that's how it works sometimes, huh!?! Those victorious mountain top moments can't last forever and if they did, we'd never grow or move! So I'll take it and learn. As glad as I am that this day is almost over, I'm guessing sweet Simone was even MORE GLAD when her uncomfortable and quite awkward class was over today! ha