but mom...I want to go home

Last night was hard. In 15 days we'll have lived here for 9 months and for 9 months, not one member of our family has spoken the "I want to go home" phrase. Well, up until last night. Two of our three guys were feeling some major home-sickness and uttered the inevitable.

Personally, I think that it is remarkable when you consider all the changes they've endured and the amount of time we've lived here!

Rough part is...all we could do was listen and hug in between sobs. When you remind them that we'll go back to visit in 2 years, they just don't get too gung-ho excited, ya know?!? Jayden shared how he REALLY hates our apartment and repeatedly used the phrase, "I miss America!" He didn't think it was funny when we informed him that he was, in fact, STILL in America. He said he wanted his old room and his yard to play in.

So, because of our need to remind the lil' guys why we are here, my heart was reminded as well. Sometimes in order to move forward you have to let yourself mourn what was lost. For us, it wasn't just our home, cars, and STUFF...it was also the routines, habits, fast-food, and existence that we had come to know and love. Many people have shared that when we leave Brazil to visit our family back home on stateside, we'll miss this new life we've grown accustomed to and will want to return QUICKLY. I know that in my head but my mouth didn't communicate it very well to the boys last night.

I love this country with a huge chunk of my heart and I don't doubt that soon, I'll be able to say, with my WHOLE heart. I know the Quilombola people need Jesus desperately but just for today it would be really nice to eat some Mexican food and watch the boys playing with their friends in the yard.


Susan said...

:( Sad day! We're praying for you and completely understand.

S and J said...

Been there "between the sobs" ... praying today, friends!

Jen Gaddis said...

So appreciate your hearts Mike and Becca! I know this post was made last year, but as I read, I couldn't help but cry. I know there are more difficult days than others. We pray for your family and are so incredibly grateful for your sacrifice to leave comfort to be obedient to Jesus! I pray by now that the boys are better and are understanding more and more the need to be there. Isaiah 26:8... May God give you ALL strength to make His awesome name known! We will continue to pray friends! Love and Blessings to each of you! Jen Gaddis